We love our families, but we don’t always like what they do…

As some of you may know by now, my uncle attempted suicide Thursday night. High on drugs, he argued with his wife, who left their home to bring my grandmother to “talk to him.” By the time they got back, he had fired a pistol into the side of his face. Two days and some surgery later, he is stable and remains in the hospital. The range of the long-term physical consequences remains to be seen.

The emotional and mental toll this has taken on my family has, however, started to show. My grandmother is obviously upset and uncertain. The rest of the family is experiencing a range of thoughts and emotions: We’re tired, and we’re angry that he could do this. We’re distraught that someone we love is so injured, and we’re numb. We are letting the doctors take care of my uncle, and we’re stepping up to take care of each other.

My uncle has been an addict for a very long time. He’s been in and out of treatment several times. Unfortunately, there is no cure for addiction; it must be continually dealt with through treatment, abstinence, and discipline. Unfortunately for many, not everybody wins the fight. Even while lying in a hospital bed, the fight continues.

What has been reassuring, though, is that we’ve been talking about it. Most of my family has been very frank about the facts here: my uncle shot himself, this wasn’t an accident, and his addiction is very much a cause.

I have personally decided to continue to be open with myself and others about what happened. We are okay talking about drug addiction and suicide when it’s a societal problem; when it’s a member of the family, we whisper about their ‘problem’ or their ‘illness.’ Somehow it makes us feel better – like it didn’t happen. The thing is, though, if our problems never happen, we never figure out how to solve them.

Maggie, my parents, and myself have been talking through all of this as well. I would leave you with some of the questions we’ve discussed.

- Why is there such a stigma surrounding mental health care? When someone has cancer, we surround them with care and talk about it openly. When someone is depressed or diagnosed with a mental illness, we get nervous, and frequently whisper about their “problems.” We view cancer as something that happened TO us, and treat mental illness as something we DID.
- How would Jesus approach tough love? How would he differentiate between enabling and caring?
- Jesus told us to love each other unconditionally. Can we, as Christians, ever say “Enough” and walk away from someone who obviously needs help?
- When, if ever, is it okay to let someone stop living, if that’s what they choose to do?
- How do we as younger people deal with the dichotomy of being angry with our elders, while recognizing that they are our elders and should "know better"?

Girls night in (no guys allowed)

2/28/07

Announcement:

Saturday, March 10 at 6 pm, the girls are going to treat Ann Kazee to a home spa. We are going to do pedicures, manicures, and back rubs. Ann also has a bunch of chick flicks to choose from, which we can play in the background. We'll order pizza or take-out. We will also be watching Caroline. This will give Jason a chance to go biking and maybe hang out with some of the guys from church. I know Dan suggested scrapbooking for the guys, but I will leave that up to them to decide. I don't plan man-events, just girl-events. If you guys want to plan a man-event, you'll have to do it yourselves!

Prayer requests:

-Jason, Ann, Caroline, and their families
-The Pittman's (our missionaries in Thailand, whose baby was diagnosed with leukemia)
-A former student of Rebecca's, her husband was injured in Afghanistan
-Praise for the Silences: parental rights were terminated for Cooper, so it is only a matter of time now till he is officially theirs!!!

Discussion:
You can use the "comments" option at the bottom of each post to leave comments. Just click on the green comments link, and type away. You may have to create a user id and password, but it won't hurt you.

We should pick a date for the waffle party soon, since March is already here. What about March 23 or March 30? Leave a comment as to what works for you.

Maggie's first post

Hi all! How exciting to have another way to stay connected. Thank you, Rebecca for getting our blog up and going. Les took a ton of (really good) pictures at Sunday's Cabaret so hopefully we can post more pictures soon.

I would love to serve dinner at the Hope Center. Is there a date in March that works for others who are interested? Maggie

Welcome to our blog!

Don't be deceived... the young adults are more than just the stepford wives. But I thought I would show you a photo of one of our recent spontaneous gatherings. The idea of a group for Young Adults at Beaumont began about 15 months ago, while 6 of us were eating at CiCi's pizza. What began as a weekly "let's go out to eat after church together" has evolved into monthly scheduled fellowship opportunities, lots of just "hanging out," and, more recently, some mission-oriented projects. God has definitely been working among us.

People in their twenties and thirties are hard to attract and retain at church. It seems like until you have kids, sometimes the church doesn't offer much to young adults in terms of fellowship. I think others would agree with me when I say that before our group began, Beaumont was lacking fellowship opportunities for people in their twenties and thirties. But because of every person in this group, together we are helping to meet this need of our church. Yes, God has definitely been working among us.

What we would like to do in this blog is:
1. Let people know what is going on so they too can get (or stay) involved.
2. List prayer requests.
3. Provide a forum for us to discuss future projects/events

So, following that format:

1. Announcements

Some women from the young adults got together and baked a bunch of yummy cakes for the church Valentine's Dinner. Way to go girls! In a whirlwind 4 hours, they managed to create 6 gourmet desserts, all without burning the kitchen down.

Thanks to Nick and Sarah for hosting the SuperBowl party; it was a huge success! Those wings were amazing. Honestly, they were.


2. Prayer requests

Pray for Ann Kazee while she is on bedrest, and for her baby. Don't forget Jason, Caroline, and the rest of their family in your prayers as well.

If you have prayer requests at any time, email them to Rebecca at rdekker_rn@yahoo.com and she can post them for you.

3. Suggestions/Discussion

We need to have our annual waffle-making pajama party. Maggie and Les Roll have volunteered to host it at their house. Any ideas for a date? Should we shoot for February or early March?

Should the YA group volunteer to serve dinner at the Hope Center one Sunday this spring?

Any other comments or suggestions for this blog, or for our group, would be appreciated.

Thanks!
Your forum moderator,
Rebecca